Oh No! Diablo IV Is Really Good
It seems these days that I go out of my way to not make myself happy. I rarely allow myself to get consumed in any one game. Ten hours of Balatro in the span of a week? I cut myself off for my brain’s sake. I was literally waking up in a cold sweat thinking of synergies. However I can play a 35 hour RPG in a little under two weeks and be totally fine with it. “Oh it’s fine! It’s got a great story and I gotta finish soon lest I get spoiled…”
I’m arguing with myself over what is ostensibly a cup and ball toy attached to a paperback novel. Sometimes though I let myself go and spend 70 hours playing Phasmophobia with friends over the course of a couple months. “It’s with friends! It’s socializing! We talk about our day!”
Right now my current strife is with Blizzard’s Diablo IV. I gave it a year long sniff test and finally picked the game up. People lamented the lack of post-game content at launch, and if you’ve played a game like Diablo you know that the game never truly ends. The grind is real, and I quickly let myself go into a flow state as I mow demons down with fireballs and the like. Minutes turn to hours, and before I know it I’m regressing into my post-graduate days of playing Diablo II until the sun rises…
THE NOS INCIDENT- A DIABLO II SHORT STORY
2012
It’s been just under a year since I graduated highschool and I’m sitting in my friend’s storage room-turned bed…uh…mattress room. Yeah. I spent a little bit of time living in a punk house for nerds. You had all the clutter and trash of a regular punk house but instead of Bad Brains and Big Black blaring on the stereo you had the sounds of smelly nerds playing Counterstrike or Halo. Only two folks actually paid the bills but you would see people coming in and out at all hours of the night.
One guy sold weed every now and then so their clientele would show up to buy, and maybe play a bit of Street Fighter and have a slice of pizza. They were always kind to me- the fat nerd who slept in what was basically a closet. I rarely talked to anyone but I managed to cook and clean so long as they brought ingredients and cleaning supplies. In exchange I lived rent-free.
Still though I wanted to buy my own things and eventually move out so I got a job at a department store unloading trucks and stocking. One particular night I found myself getting hot and bothered over a long session of Diablo II. Diablo III was still a way’s away and I wanted to get my sea legs back on account of not playing since middle school. My shift was from 4PM-1AM so I figured I could technically stay up until 7, wake up at 3, get ready for work and be fine. Unfortunately for me and ultimately my coworkers I was a huge fan of NOS brand energy drinks. I still am, but I definitely don’t consume 6 in a night like I did back when I was 18. 7AM was nearing it’s head and I still had caffeine and bad decisions running through my greasy veins. 7 quickly came and went and I would tell myself
“Ok…I can get X hours of sleep if I just quit now and crash…”
This eventually turned into
“I don’t really need to sleep. I can play all day, take a cold shower, crack open a NOS when I get there, and come back here tonight and sleep until 3 the next day…”
When 3 reared its head I finally closed the game, stumbled into the bathroom, took that shower and shambled to work. I did in fact crack that NOS, but by the middle of my shift something was stirring within me. At the time I never drank water, and I was only hydrating through what was in those drinks. Unloading a 1600 piece truck without properly taking care of myself put me in a state of delusion, ultimately culminating in a sea of bright orange erupting from my mouth all over the receiving area. I assured my coworkers that I was good to go but after my big performance they sent me home. A coworker was even nice enough to drive me back to my living quarters.
I didn’t play Diablo II again until 2021.
12 years later and I find myself back in the driver’s seat, and I almost hate to say it, but Diablo IV is gearing up to be my “forever game.” I probably won’t play 16 hours straight like I did way back when, but I see a couple hours a night for a few months, followed by sporadic log-ins for the foreseeable future.
-PA
If you like what you’ve read feel free to support me on Venmo or Cashapp. If you’re from discord or insert credit follow me on Twitter, Threads, or Bluesky if you want to keep in touch with what I’m doing in between posts.
