You Have Time, But I Don’t
At the time of publishing, I am now 30 years old.
I’m not going to wax depressed about the woes of growing older. In fact I want to talk about something that has impacted my life for the better.
I want to talk about my feet.
Nearly all my adult life I have had issues with footwear. Either they’re too big, or too narrow, or uncomfortable to the point of bleeding. All of my jobs have involved standing for several hours at a time. In 2020 I would walk home from work, and would psyche myself out just to get off the couch. I was in an almost indescribable amount of pain. This lasted until 2022 when I purchased my first pair of Doc Martens. Size 14, Yellow lace on the left, purple on the right. I even purchased the heavy duty socks that went over my regular crew socks. I’m a heavy man. I need about as much shock absorption as I can get.
I wore these fuckers every single day. It’s safe to say that the heels are currently eroded well beyond their original design. They’re house shoes now, at least until I can get them sent in for repair.
In November of 2022 I purchased a pair of ASICS walking shoes in hope that they will be as good or even better than my boots. Jury’s still out on that one but for now they’re mostly fine. I wish they were a bit wider if anything. It’s August 2023 now and my pinky toes have long torn through the fabric. As long as I wear black socks no one has to know…
Until now I suppose.
The final step in my path to perfect stride came as recently as two weeks ago, in which I purchased a “foot maintenance kit” from my local pharmacy. I won’t go into specifics, but now after over a decade of work I can say with confidence that I have reclaimed my feet. I am no longer a slave to my calluses.
That’s step one of many in my journey to betterment. I quit smoking and drinking all on the same day in June, and started walking more thanks to the shoes. Pair this all up with protein shakes, electrolytes, and weights and you have…no visible change, but a change all the same. I feel better at 30 than I did at 25, and even 20 if I’m being honest. It’s worth noting that I was never a heavy drinker or smoker to begin with, but I still considered myself tethered to those demons.
My hair even feels better! This is mostly attributed to my new shampoo and conditioner regimen, but a win’s a win. Things are looking up…right?
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Yeah…
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But first…
Where were you when you first heard of Death Stranding?
I was in my childhood bedroom. It was 2016. I was 22 years old. I didn’t make enough money yet to live on my own. I sat on my bed with the lights off as Sony’s E3 press conference played on my monitor. I was watching live when Hideo Kojima did his goofy walk down a flight of stairs, and declared that he “was back”. He then showed us a video of Norman Reedus naked on a beach holding a baby. Norman Reedus cried. The words “Death Stranding” appeared on screen. People cheered. I was excited, but more confused than anything. I was all for it, whatever it was.
Every year we would get a new trailer or two, and finally in 2019 the world got to experience Death Stranding for themselves that November. I was…still living with my parents. At this point I made more than enough to live on my own, but due to issues out of my control my mother and I were the sole incomes for the household. In January of 2020 my father was finally able to claim disability after years of fighting, and with that it meant it was time to leave.
In March of 2020, I was living in a moderately nice apartment, enjoying my own company for the first time ever. I spent my stimulus check on a big ass TV, and I purchased Death Stranding for $30.
I didn’t like it.
I didn’t necessarily dislike it either, however. It just wasn’t for me. I found the constant talking to be well…a lot. I nudged my friend’s shoulder with my elbow.
“Heh. You play as a dude delivering packages to people who stay inside all the time…heh. heh.” We giggled. She stayed a few days at my place while she was between apartments. Looking for a place to stay was pretty difficult during the beginning of the pandemic, but I we made it work, Lysol cans and all.
A year later and Hideo Kojima’s heterosexual life partner Geoff Keighley showed us yet another trailer for Death Stranding, this time the Director’s Cut for PS5. In 2022 I would buy the PC version of the director’s cut and give it another whirl.
I still didn’t like it.
I was close though. I could feel it.
In 2023 I find myself constantly looking back at the past, pondering the what ifs of the world.
“What if I didn’t play Dragon Quest as a kid”
“What if I played Halo instead of Silent Hill 2”
“What if I kept my Dreamcast”
“What if I….liked Death Stranding…”
Remember folks, We’re still in august as of writing. Let’s go back a few months. Let’s talk about…
I did all those towers in just under a day. I played this game like it was my job. A week later and I had just over 50 hours clocked in. I started playing on launch day, and hit credits the following Friday. I don’t want to linger on too much but let me just say that this game had my soul by the neck. A true masterpiece through and through.
Now let’s talk about…
A new Zelda and a new FF with only a month in between nearly killed me. I think I had this game finished over the weekend? NOTE: I went back and checked. I played at launch, and I hit credits on Tuesday.
Final Fantasy XVI was a ride. There were times where I genuinely felt like my PS5 was going to burst into flames. Definitely going back to this game soon.
With Zelda and Final Fantasy finished I had enough time to go back to something. Should I have gone back and whittled away at my Valkyria Chronicles save? Perhaps Katamari Damacy? No. I had one game on my mind. I was ready to finally enjoy Death Stranding.
Unlike the previous two games I finished DS was a slow burn. I mean, it had been nearly 4 years since the game came out. I wasn’t in a rush to finish it then, I surely won’t have that feeling now. FOMO wasn’t an issue. I sipped Norman Reedus like a fine wine. I laughed at his stupid jokes. I understood just how…fun it was to be a dude delivering things. I was Norman Reedus. Norman Reedus….wasn’t me. I wasn’t me. I wasn’t anyone else but Norman Reedus, with his silly baby strapped to his chest. I was playing a role. I was Death Stranding.
I was everyone’s Death Stranding.
The jargon didn’t make my eyes roll anymore. I finally understood the intricacies of the beach. I rocked my baby to sleep. I hung out in the hot springs. I smacked a package out of a dude’s hands, grabbed it in mid air, and proceeded to beat the living shit out of another dude with said package. I fell off several cliffs but that was ok. Norman Reedus didn’t mind. He was cool. I was cool. I rode my stupid bike back up the cliff and made this shit look easy.
It was 3 in the morning when I hit credits. It was nearly 4 in the morning when the game was finally over. I gave my cat a late night snack, wiped the tears off my face, and crawled into bed. In the Privately Attack Nobuo Uematsu With Questions Canon, Death Stranding stands as one of the best pieces of media I have ever had the privilege to experience. If you have the means to do so, please play Death Stranding. Finish the game, even if it takes you weeks, months, or years.
-PA
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